lost in translation
At some point we have all been in both of those scenarios, but if we’re both speaking the same language then how and why does miscommunication happen?
Do you interrupt the person whilst they are talking?
Or if you don’t interrupt them there and then, do you have a answer that you’re waiting to say even before they have finished speaking?
If so, then that’s hearing to reply. To listen deeply to a person, picture them as if they’re the most important person on this planet (especially if it’s a serious conversation) you’ll hear a lot more than just the literal words that are coming out of their mouth.
I know people who like to “people watch” me personally I like to “conversation listen”. Not in an eavesdropping sense, but just to hear how people communicate with each other. This could be in supermarkets, at work, commuting, vast number of places. It really is quite astonishing how many of us humans speak the same language but can’t communicate effectively.
Hearing = interrupting someone speaking or having a precomposed response
Listening = taking in what is being said to understand it and then to generate a response
These are a better way of communicating as you gain the 38% of tonality to add to the 7% of verbal, bringing you up to 45%. A much higher percentage than texting but still a long way off the maximum.
Face to face
When it comes to serious conversations, if possible, have them face to face. This is the full package, you get the missing 55% of body language which isn’t there when your having a phone conversation.
To round it up remember conscious and unconscious, voluntary and involuntary, listening and hearing.
Hearing > unconscious > involuntary
Listening > conscious > voluntary
*listening is a skill that needs to be practiced and mastered, it's using more than just one of your senses. What do you hear?, what do you see?, what do you feel?*
Hope you enjoyed reading