Power of the present moment
Those thoughts are either focused on past events and mistakes causing depression or they are thoughts trying to foresee the future causing us anxiety. Our brains are naturally wired to do this, it's constantly trying to make connections and figure everything out, it wants to keep us safe from re-running the same unwanted patterns that have hurt us in the past. It is useful at times, but is also often the cause of major psychological illnesses. Like everything there needs to be a certain level of understanding to begin to harness its true power.
Anyways.. So why not scrap using both those thought processes so much and start focusing on the now, the present moment?
At this precise moment, how are you? Now before you answer that, I want you to cut off all past memories, forget what John said at work on Friday, forget what the mess the kids made this morning, forget the manic Monday morning rush hour traffic to get to work, just close your eyes, take 5 deep breaths, be present and ask your self the question again…..
At this precise moment, how are you?
This is the time to express some gratitude :)
You're always seeking happiness in the future, as if it’s a happiness checkpoint.
So what about all the months you’re wishing away to get to this future date? Why not make them happy too?
Even when people are on holiday, the happiest time is always the first half of it When they are fully engaged in that present moment, enjoying their surroundings, what they see, what they feel, they are 100% present. The third quarter is still okay and by time it gets to the final quarter there tends to be some anxiety about returning back to reality.
High adrenaline activities stop the brain from being able to process the normal everyday thoughts of money, bills, career, etc and actually have you totally functioning in that present moment. Which is why they are so enjoyable and are often the most happiest and memorable times of our lives.
So to summarise, I just want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with wanting to go on holiday or do something thrill seeking like sky diving. I just wanted to make that connection clear that the reason that they are so enjoyable is that they make you fully involved in that present moment and it’s the only moment we are ever in so it’s the most important. Its when you understand this and are able to extract the elements from those occasions and apply them to your everyday life moment to moment when things start to get powerful, and you’ll really start to enjoy your life a whole lot more. Generating happiness is as simple as brushing your teeth.
Thank you for reading
Like, comment, share
How spiritual are you really?
I was at home last night having all kinds of random thoughts and one grabbed my attention more than the others, so I stuck with it. So before I get into the real meaning of this blog I just wanted to break down spirituality.
Spirit – This is the non physical part of anything that is living, which gives it life (the soul).
I hope that clears up spirituality a little bit, so you’ll really understand where I’m coming from with this blog. Now I can pose the question….
How spiritual is it that you’re a part of another living creatures spirit (soul) being sacrificed unnecessarily for you to consume?
It doesn’t matter if its free range, grass fed, quickly, slowly or whatever. The fact of the matter is that animals lives are being taken away from them prematurely.
I used to eat all meat and animal products you could think of lol so I feel its right that I share my journey with you. My journey started around 7 years ago when I first started researching a few things.
The first thing I gave up was pork, then it was cows milk, then I reduced my red meat intake to 1 day a week, then I started having vegetarian weekends, then I flipped it to vegetarian weekdays and meat on the weekends. These transitions ran from 2009-2015. Then finally in April 2015 I went full vegetarian and then June 2015 I went full Vegan… BUT I’m not a vegan anymore. I’m just Ash :) and even though my diet is 99% vegan based I will eat fish maybe once every 1 or 2 months but that’s it. So that’s my journey And its still continuing.
Also I’v noticed how quick people were to tell me I’m not a vegan for my lapse in consuming fish on the rare occasions. So keep your name/title of being vegan 😌✋
Would you say a christian isn’t a christian or a muslim isn’t a muslim for not following one of the commandments once in a while??
Just let that sink in.
This blog isn’t to judge anyone who eats animals, or to tell you you’re not spiritual if you do eat them. At the end of the day to each his own. The point of this is to simply raise a level awareness that if you are on this spiritual journey then you should be constantly trying to take steps to that level of oneness in all areas of your life, to truly take that holistic approach.
I just hope this has given you a knew perspective of your journey and maybe even a few steps to take.
Thank you for reading
If you have any topics you would like me to write about then please do get in touch
I hope you enjoyed the blog
Like, comment, share
lost in translation
At some point we have all been in both of those scenarios, but if we’re both speaking the same language then how and why does miscommunication happen?
Do you interrupt the person whilst they are talking?
Or if you don’t interrupt them there and then, do you have a answer that you’re waiting to say even before they have finished speaking?
If so, then that’s hearing to reply. To listen deeply to a person, picture them as if they’re the most important person on this planet (especially if it’s a serious conversation) you’ll hear a lot more than just the literal words that are coming out of their mouth.
I know people who like to “people watch” me personally I like to “conversation listen”. Not in an eavesdropping sense, but just to hear how people communicate with each other. This could be in supermarkets, at work, commuting, vast number of places. It really is quite astonishing how many of us humans speak the same language but can’t communicate effectively.
Hearing = interrupting someone speaking or having a precomposed response
Listening = taking in what is being said to understand it and then to generate a response
These are a better way of communicating as you gain the 38% of tonality to add to the 7% of verbal, bringing you up to 45%. A much higher percentage than texting but still a long way off the maximum.
Face to face
When it comes to serious conversations, if possible, have them face to face. This is the full package, you get the missing 55% of body language which isn’t there when your having a phone conversation.
To round it up remember conscious and unconscious, voluntary and involuntary, listening and hearing.
Hearing > unconscious > involuntary
Listening > conscious > voluntary
*listening is a skill that needs to be practiced and mastered, it's using more than just one of your senses. What do you hear?, what do you see?, what do you feel?*
Hope you enjoyed reading
Your cover vs your content
Which part of your life are you paying more attention to?Everyone likes to look good and there is the look good feel good factor. But the problem is, what if you aren’t looking good? And what if for some reason you can’t make yourself look as good as usual? Then what? Are you then doomed to never feeling as good as you possibly can?
We live in a society that tells us these things are so important and essential to our lives that we just go along with it simply because everyone else is doing it, or has it. The level of sheepism is amazing. We’ve become so engrossed in other peoples lives and what they are doing that most of us don’t truly know ourselves. All this focusing on the cover is just to feed the ego, it’s the ego that tells you that you need xyz, it’s the ego that tells you that your not worthy without so and so, or that once you buy this then you will feel that. Focusing on your cover can make you feel good but how long does that feeling last before you need to update it to bring back that feeling of confidence and worthiness again.. That’s the problem with focusing mainly on the cover, its temporary. Just as you wouldn’t be attracted to a magazine if the cover was always the same, this principle applies to you, don’t get caught up in this vicious cycle.
All these things make up the content of your personal book. As attractive as your cover may be, if there isn’t much content to your book then people will quickly put your book back on the shelf, and this reflects in your relationships. It plays out a little bit in the types of people you attract, but that’s mainly due to your cover. But what sort of people have started your book and are still sticking around depends largely on the contents of your book. If they’re not the types of people you want then you need to have a little read of your own book and add some depth to your content.
As the saying goes, it's what's on the inside that counts
How much in time, effort, money on an overall percentage do you spend working on Your Cover vs Your Content?
Hope you enjoyed reading. Like and comment 😃
4 Stage relationship pyramid
To meet someone who is right for you, you have to go through what i like to call "The 4 Stage Pyramid".
You know the basic questions; what food do you like, do you like sports, what do you do in your spare time, etc. Real basic stuff to see if there are any similarities in activities, something you could do together and both enjoy it (a date).
Stage 4- Beliefs and Values
This is the base of the pyramid, the roots, the foundation, this is whats going to hold everything above it together so it doesn’t fall to pieces. This is thee most important and is not a stage to be taken lightly. After you’ve been talking and dating for a while small talk needs to become big talk. Not big talk as in marriage or kids, but as in goals, ambitions, where do they see their path going, what are their views on what makes a good relationship, current affairs, and so much more. You won’t find out or even like everything, but there is a lot you should find out before committing yourself into a relationship with that person. Beliefs and values are deeply embedded and rarely ever change so if you have beliefs that mean a lot to you but go against that persons beliefs, then you both have some serious thinking to do.
you dont have to get as deep as this pic, but there's no harm if you do 😂😂
The problem with this era
We’ve become to sexually orientated. Through television, adverts, celebrities, music videos, the whole of social media. We’re bombarded with images that shouldn’t be acceptable, but are now acceptable in every angle. This pushes up our sex drive (look at our world population spike).
So now we have a highly sex driven generation who through social media has direct access to instantly message whoever they like. And when your acting in that way your only in the early stages of stage 2 on the pyramid and you’re having sex already. Sex causes feeling and attachment to that person, so now you’ve got feelings involved and a sense of attachment to someone who you really don’t know at all 😪
Go through the stages and get to know that person first 👍
Making Peace WIth your PAST
That person may not directly be a part of your life but what happens when;
You cross paths with that person?
You hear that persons name?
You cross paths with someone that reminds you of that person?
I could carry on all day with different types of examples, the fact of the matter is most of them happen at the unconscious level so we’re not even aware when they’ve been triggered. And once that trigger has been fired releasing those memories, right alongside those memories is its tag team partner…… EMOTIONS.
Let’s just summarise this sequence.
Takes a deep breath* So there’s a stimulus at an unconscious level that has fired the trigger connected to your memories which has caused the response to release these trapped emotions so your mood that day is fluctuating and you have no idea why…….CRAZY
Trust me when I say you really don’t want to go through the rest of your life trying to deal with every stimulus connected to that person. The memories will never change but you can change your interpretation of them and the way you respond to them.
The first step is to find a way to get in touch with that person. Do it face to face if you can, on the phone or if you have no contact for that person then find a quiet place (preferably outdoors) and have that internal conversation with them. Avoid doing via email or text because it leads to all kinds of miscommunication (topic for another blog, another time).
The second step is to have that conversation, get everything off your chest that you want to say, ask all the questions that you want to ask. Bear in mind that you may not like the answers but just accept them as they are. And as much as you may feel you hate that person for the way they treated you in the past or the way they continue to treat you, your end result is to make internal peace.
Remember in the back of your mind “everyone reacts to things differently and as logical as something may seem to you, it wasn’t and still may not be to them. Humans make the best decisions we feel right at the time, no one aims to make a wrong decision”.
Why? Because everything they have had to deal with has mentally prepared them for the battle of life. So from deep inside your heart I want you to look them in their eyes and say “thank you”.
You’re going to find this hard and the sheer thought alone of doing this may put you off, It’s out of your comfort zone so you will feel some resistance towards it, it’s normal.
Also if this person is a part of your life now and they display actions that have once hurt you then you now know that it’s only making you stronger and they probably just like you, need to make peace with their past. Their actions towards you is just the strategy they’ve developed over many years of dealing with life, it’s not personal.
On that note thanks for reading my blog, I hope it’s helped in some way. If you have any questions then feel free to comment or email me and I’ll be glad to answer them :)
MAKE THE PEACE!!
The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of hurting them back.
The first thing you need to understand is that there’s always a reason behind why you end up getting hurt, and you being hurt was a by product of that reason being played out 😦
Our initiative signals to us when somethings not right and we seek to resolve whats missing in our lives. If we try to ignore whats missing then yea it may go away for a bit, but it’s just going to keep on coming back and also start to manifest and cause disruptions in other areas of our lives.
For example a co worker who gives you a hard time (I know you can think of one right now and if you don’t have one then you’ve had one lol). Why would someone give you a hard time even though your doing your job well?? It just doesn’t make sense. It’s not you at all, it’s them. There’s some void in there life that they either don’t know how to solve or maybe they are just avoiding the problem all together, therefore it takes a different form and that form unfortunately happens to be by giving you a hard time. Which sucks but there are ways to deal with it. Firstly by you trying to understand them will make you more tolerant and see their behaviour in a less negative light. Secondly just talk to them, get to know them a little and you’ll be surprised and how quickly your relationship with that person will change. Us humans crave companionship so reach out to them from a place where your intentions are pure and they will express to you whats really making them the way they are. 😃
“always try to understand”.
The same principle applies here. Well of course unless you cheated on them and they cheated back out of retaliation, so it will be a case of them just wanting you to understand the pain that you caused them but two wrongs don’t make a right, right?
Anyways, so understanding someone who cheats on you whilst your being faithful. You being hurt is a by product of them cheating, they didn’t cheat with the intention of hurting you (unless it’s the circumstance I stated earlier) you just got caught up in the cross fire. You need to realise its not necessarily something that your doing but more likely that the other person doesn’t know what they want or they are so used to their old habits of having attention from more than one person that it’s hard to let go of. The way to deal with this one is to be together in a relationship or don’t, but don’t allow things to continue that make you unhappy or you could end up being that horrible co worker lol see how this works.
“always try to understand”
Finally I just want you to remember to be patient with one another because everyone is facing their own battles. And just as your own battles are the most important to you, so are theirs to them.
Hope you enjoyed reading and have taken something away from it.
Sending lots of love
love the s**t out of yourself
Sounds like some heavy stuff ayy…. I know right…. So lets break it down further.
The first thing you need to know about loving yourself is that it has be about YOU. Sounds almost to silly to mention, but you’ll be surprised at just how many people get this fundamental part of the process wrong. Making it about you means that you need to spend some time alone. Now this doesn’t mean you need to be in complete isolation (even though I would recommend doing this sometimes) but what it does mean is that you need to get out there and start doing things that YOU have decided to do and not anything that has been suggested by a friend or family, YOU have to want to do it..
Now…. That was the easy part. Once you’ve decided what to do, you’re then going to have to carry out your decision. Again this sounds very simple, but heres the catch…..
Dun dun dun…..
You have to do it ALONE *GASP* lool.
This is where your going to meet with the most resistance and find all the excuses under the sun not to go through with it, but that’s cool, it’s natural.
Start with the less daunting things like going for a walk or sitting in the park and work your way up to things like going to a restaurant in the evening or travelling abroad, which people really find difficult.
Why do it alone?
Simply because its all about YOU, and if you have someone there with you, the less your going to learn about YOU (kind of defeats the whole purpose). All decisions, thoughts and opinions need to be your own and having someone there will influence that.
Yes it would probably be more fun if you had a familiar face there with you but in the long run. The more time you spend doing things alone and getting to know you, the stronger your friendships become and the stronger your relationships become.
Picture it like this, you’re a pillar, so the stronger YOU are, the stronger the pillar you're providing to support those relationships.
Not everyone grows up at the same time…..
Not everybody grows up completely..… 🤔
Just because your age means your officially labeled as an adult, doesn’t make you a grown up 🔞
And we have adults who are very much children in grown bodies who have never made that full leap into the world of adulthood. Last but not least we have the confused teenagers (the kidults) who are adults when they want to be and kids when it suits their wants and needs.
The main one out of these which I want to focus on are the kidults. Are you that teenager or are you that adult, it’s a very confusing time for a teenage. You want the benefits of being an adult like freedom without any of the responsibility.
What I personally think would work well is if in our western culture we adopted a sort of initiation/coming of man process in which there is a clear time in which the teenager makes that transition. Is would clearly define the role and expectations of the teenager, without the confused in-between stage which I feel is why we have so many off the rail teenagers being so disrespectful to their elders. There will be a lot of structures that will need to be put in place to support my theory but I definitely think it could help out the problem of “kidulthood”.
But the thing is if you really want to feel like you did when you was when you was a child then it’s all about how you see things. As a child you was innocent so nothing had a predetermined outcome or feeling attached to it. It was all about trying new things and doing the things you liked. So to simply put it, everybody needs to grow up, but to experience the freedom and awe of a child you simply need to revert back in to a mental state of pure innocence.
Look out for what type of person you have around you, try and notice the signs, try and notice them in yourself, have you grown up?
Hope you enjoyed reading, like, comment, share